Fashion Fopaux

I mean really... Is this kid seriously wearing a tie with jeans and sneakers? What the hell is he thinking?... Don't even get me started on the fact that he is dawning a leather jacket to top it all off. There is simply no way this kid makes it on his own on the red (er blue?) carpet... Get a clue champ, dress to impress or dress to try to look like a bad ass, pick one because they dont blend well. I bet your Mom right there is embarrassed having to put her arm around you while you're wearing that outfit, how do you feel about that?

Trailblazer

... Sometimes a fanny pack just isn't enough...

Where do sneezes go when they don't come out?

Bless you- stifled sneeze has Latos headed to DL

While walking down some steps at Coors Field in Denver last Friday, Mat Latos stifled a sneeze.

That aborted sneeze led to pain in Latos’ side that landed the 22-year-old pitcher on the 15-day disabled list Thursday.

How convenient, since the Padres wanted to push back Latos’ next start. Because his time on the disabled list officially started last Friday, Latos will be eligible to pitch July 24 in Pittsburgh.


I cannot stand it when I have my head cocked back with my arms stretched out to ensure that I have a safe perimeter to unload a sneeze into and it vanishes on its own, presumably to be released at a later date. But Latos, this Padres pitcher, did the inconceivable, he "aborted" (well written Staff Writer Bill) a sneeze. People are making fun of this for him getting injured holding back a sneeze, but that's what happens when your mind tries to fight your body... your body punishes you.

Body says sneeze, I say "how high", you can't get into fights against your body because your body always wins... try to hold in a poop?, BAM hernia... try to hold back pee?, BAM AIDS... Latos isn't an idiot for the fact that he injured himself holding back a sneeze, he is an idiot for trying to hold back a sneeze.

Enjoy the Beach

Sharks sighted at Jersey Shore third time this week

Sharks spotted off the Jersey Shore on Thursday morning prompted lifeguards to briefly close a beach for the second day in a row.

Mark it down, today will be the last day of sharks at the Jersey shore. After these Sharks eat Melon along with his florescent orange shorts today it will be all the more safe as they will be able to go into a bear-like hibernation following their feast. Enjoy that government-paid vacation, surfs up.... bitch

I thought this was America

(http://blogs.laweekly.com/informer/odd-news/naked-man-on-robertson/)


LA Weekly- Robertson Boulevard has a high-concentration of star power for the sightseer: Kitson and The Ivy, Paris and Lohan. But the street's high-end shoppers and paparazzi were treated to an extra eyeful on Monday when a man with his pants down put on a show, according to the website Weho Daily.

Weho News states the suspect allegedly threw a bottle and threatened people on the street, prompting an "assault with a deadly weapon" call to the LAPD. They reportedly took the man down about 5:15 p.m.


You've seen the news, everything is different now. In a world where we must wear seat belts, jaywalking is starting to be enforced and I can't talk on my phone while driving because the vast majority of asian women drivers cause accidents while yelling at people over the phone while weaving in and out of oncoming traffic; I have to draw the line somewhere.

I simply can't live in a world where I'm not allowed to have a couple adult beverages, put on some boots, a sweater and a pair of pants with no belt to go to a ritzy shopping center and hurl insults, and maybe bottles, at the wealthy customers. And you know what, if I'm too busy talking with both hands and swigging Jim Beam to not give a shit that my pants are around my knees, then so be it. After all, god dammit, this is America.

TGIF BITCHES

Hey Winger, how's the view from your cubicle? If you need me I'm at the beach on a state funded field trip with Mrs Melon. How long till 6:30?

You know what, F*&# "TGIF"

I hate the people who walk around in the morning saying "TGIF", talk to me when it is 6:30pm and I have a beer in my hand... Until then it is just another work day, it also doesn't help that I woke up thinking that it was Saturday which is impossible to recover from and makes it unrealistic to actually be a fuctioning human being... Spare me the "TGIF"... This picture will be me in t-minus 11 minutes, except I do not have a briefcase so my man-satchel will be hanging from the coat hook on the stall door instead. (Plenty of room on that hook since I never wear a coat to go to the bathroom, if I were the type to wear a coat in the bathroom I would probably also be the type to walk around at 8am saying "TGIF"... thanks anyway for that hook though)