It's Official: Aliens are right under our noses

So I am not a big alien movie guy, but I do understand some aspects in creating an alien movie. If you are going to have aliens pretending to be humans, they must have something different about them physically so the humans can realize that they're aliens. One easy way to hide the difference is to use something often overlooked one key aspect of human anatomy, the belly button. This photo proves my point that the crew of Jersey Shore are not human beings, "J-Woww" has NO BELLY BUTTON, and I am sure that the rest of the cast is missing this key human component as well. So unless the next season of Jersey Shore is being held at Area 51, that shit is done... Back to Real World, Road Rules Season 27

The Eagles need to pay Desean Jackson. To quote the late great Wayans family (I think they all died), he's gots to get "MO MONEY, MO MONEY, MO MONEY"... Yeah, so Desean ranked 12th in the NFL in receiving yards, the Eagles then traded Donovan McNabb. New QB K Kolb is stepping in on a team thats top two rushers last year combined for over 190 less yards than D Jackson accumulated receiving by himself. Assuming somebody doesn't give Andy Reid a lobotomy, it is safe to assume the Eagles are still going to pass the ball a shit ton. So hey, Eagles brass, just pay Desean his money cause I don't need to see what kind of shenanigans he might pull if he is making less money then freaking Jason Avant... Pay 'dat man 'is MONEY.

Back off of your boy J Werth

So Philly is abuzz with chatter on J Werth being in a casino until 4am the day of a game (or before if you are one of those morons who doesn't realize that 4am means that it is no longer yesterday)... Werth has been so horendous that I can't even google the word to see if it is spelled right. Not only can he not hit, he is so fucked up in the head that he can't get himself to lift the bat off his shoulder. And since we haven't heard of or seen pictures of him out drinking/banging trannies/gambling til 4am, and everyone and there grandmother can't let someone cough in public without whipping out their phone to take a picture, it's safe to assume that he hasn't been... I say, let the man do something different to break his multi-million dollar lossing slump he has been in. Get that man a slumpbuster. A 6'1" 240lb post-op beast and a couple winning hands of spanish 21 should get him cranking some hr's or at least give him something new to regret.... It works for Philly Wings back-up goalie Mickey Hover every day of the week and three times on Sunday, you've seen his pre-game warm-ups...

Fuck with the bull and you get the horns

AP-A Utah woman visiting Yellowstone National Park was injured when a bison charged her and flipped her into the air. Park officials say the 49-year-old woman, whose name wasn't released, was with her family near Old Faithful Monday when a bison in nearby brush ran at her and a 61-year-old man. The man was injured when he fell trying to get away from the animal.... Bison can weigh up to 2,000 pounds and run up to 30 mph.


Are we supposed to feel bad for this woman? This doesn't even seem newsworthy to me. STOP FUCKING WITH BIG ASS ANIMALS. When you fuck with a cat, you get scratched... When you fuck with a dog, you get bit... When you fuck with a 2,000lb bison that can run up to 30mph, you get fucking run over... that's just their version of scratching/biting... Get over it.

Below you will find a video of another guy who thinks it is smart to cross into a bison's bubble of personal/comfortable space.

Holy Crap

I now know how Harry felt in this scene. While out with friends this evening I get that call. I excuse myself and head to the bathroom. Once in the bathroom I notice that the door to the stall does not lock. Under normal circumstances this is unacceptable, and at the time, this was a normal circumstance. I return to my table of friends, we finish our beers, pay the tab and hit the road. After dropping the crew off it was time to embark on my 30 minute drive home. The first 27 minutes were fine, it was the last three that were painful. With no regard for pedestrians and running red light after red light, I pull in to the neighbourhood and speed down the road over the 3 speed bumps and park in the lot. With my body clenched as tight as it was, not only was running an issue, but unlocking the door even posed to be a challenge. By time I meandered through the apartment and juked the hungry animals, I made it to the bathroom just in time for a Reggie Miller-esq buzzer beating shot...

SWISH!!

This could makes things confusing

The kid in me is excited for the open house fun day, but the adult in me is sad that we're there for a funeral.

These Walls (of this Water-based Vegetable) CANNOT CONTAIN ME

NOBODY puts baby in a watermellon, you hear me? NOBODY.